There was FINALLY a break in the rain and we headed outside to play. James loves this car! He likes for Daniel to push the car and let go as he rides up the driveway, reaches the top and then rides backwards where Daniel catches him at the foot of the driveway. (Don't worry, we don't live on a bust street and Daniel is so careful to catch him.)
I want to thank so many of my wonderful friends who sent me encouraging emails and left comments after my post on surviving two under two. There are people out there (other than my wonderful parents) reading this blog! YAY! I have decided to keep it up even though my posts at times will be few and far between once I return to work. I really enjoy this blog! I started it right before we had James and wow, things have changed a lot in such a short span of time. I use this blog as a place to post updates on our family, especially updates about our two little men, but now I also look forward to using it as a place for me to communicate with other parents out there who are enjoying the same joys (and facing the same challenges) of parenthood that we are. I'm really excited about that!
After my last post I received the sweetest and my most thoughtful email from my friend Ginger in Alabama. She is the proud mommy of two handsome boys 15 months apart and she AMAZES me with how together she is! I am so impressed. She really makes it all look easy. Because of her husband's work schedule, Ginger often has to take on the day to day responsibilities of caring for her boys. She is my hero because I have been in those shoes with one child and I cannot imagine doing it with two children. However, as moms we do what we have to do and Ginger rises to the occasion! Her boys will be really proud of her one day when they are old enough to know about the sacrifices she made for them.
Ginger's email to me was uplifting and inspirational. It was a reminder that moms need to reach out to each other and lean on each other for support. Of course there are a million people around to share your joy and excitement with, but sometimes moms need other moms. You might feel as if you are alone in how you are feeling but the fact is other moms have been where you are. It is ok to feel unsure about things (to return to work? to breast feed or supplement? which daycare? allow TV for toddlers? organic or not?) or to ask for help when you need it. It is ok to admit things are not perfect and that you need support from others during the hard parts. Motherhood is the BEST and MOST IMPORTANT job I will ever have, but it is also the HARDEST job that I will ever have. There are no do overs. I am charged with doing the absolute best job that I can do. So to help me in that goal, I will use this blog to reach out to other parents so we can help each other when we need it.
It is true there is a Mom's Club. Anyone who is a mom knows what I mean. It is the club you join, ready or not, as soon as your first baby is born. The membership is rewarding and overwhelming, exciting and intimidating, exhilirating and exhausting. Moms wear the club badge with honor but you often can't see it because it is covered with spit up or ketchup from a toddler's messy hands! The secret about this club is that few of the moms in it feel they are doing a good job. The miracle about this club is that almost all of them are! Ginger is doing a wonderful job mothering her little guys and she made me feel that I am doing a great job taking care of my two boys. So thank you again Ginger!
Whether you have one child or ten children, we are all in this together. These little babies and toddlers and kiddos (and AHHH, the horrors....TEENAGERS!) are pretty hard work and juggling everything they need along with taking care of the home and working outside the home can feel pretty daunting. We have all come up with ideas or little tricks that make life easier for us. Maybe you have a strategy that makes getting out the of the house on time easier or maybe you've got a plan in place for making grocery shopping with kids a breeze. So, here is what I propose. Comment on this post with the best tip or trick you have so that other parents can try it out and see how it works for them. I got this idea from that fabulous mom Ginger I was telling you about. In her email to me she clearly laid out how I can easily bathe James and Brendan at the same time. If you are thinking, whoop de doo, bathing two kids at once, how hard can that be??? then I KNOW you have not tried this feat. I am going to post those instructions here as well as my own idea for how to get out of the house a little easier with one kid or two, which is an idea I came up with myself.
Please leave your ideas! They can REALLY help another mom or dad out there! I am excited about learning some new things that can make things run smoother.
-By Ginger, Mom to Joseph (23 months) and John (7 months)-
To bathe two kids by yourself:
Gather all supplies before starting. Bring into the bathroom your Bumbo or Bouncy seat, two hooded towels, the baby's pajamas, baby's diaper and any diaper cream the baby may need (you could bring lotion but I find I don't have time for that anymore). With both kids in the bathroom - and the door shut so no one can escape - put the baby fully clothed in the Bumbo. Undress James while the water if filling the tub. Put James in the tub and completely bathe him head to toe. Put some toys in the water to keep James busy. Then lay out a towel on your bathmat or put one towel on top of the other to make a soft pallet on the floor. Also lay out the baby's pajamas. Undress the baby and put him in a tub seat (we used our Bumbo even though you're not supposed to). Completely bathe the baby head to toe. Take the baby out and dry him off on the towel you had laid on the floor. Put on his diaper, cream and pajamas. Dry off the Bumbo if it's wet and put him back in it. Take James out of the tub and dry him off. He can walk to his room with the towel on while you carry the baby - Bumbo and all - to James's room. Baby can sit on the floor while you get James dressed for bed.
Then go sit on the sofa for a minute with both kids because you will be tired and sweating.
-By Lauren, Mom to James (21 months) and Brendan (6 weeks)-
To get out the door easier:
Because lugging a car seat (with a 12 lb baby in it), a diaper bag and trying to convince a toddler to follow you can be hard, I now leave my diaper bag in my car when I get home with the boys. I rarely bring it in the house. Instead, we we're ready to leave, I grab a plastic shopping bag and load it up with the sippy cup, snack, extra diapers (if needed) and take that to the car instead. It is so much lighter and easier to carry. Once I am in the car I put the stuff in the diaper bag and then use the plastic bag as a trash bag in my car to collect drink cups, stray goldfish, etc. The next time I get out the car I throw the trash bag away. James even helps carry the bag a lot. (I try to use reusable shopping bags at the store, but I don't at every store every time. This makes me feel that the plastic bag is at least getting reused.)
DON'T FORGET TO POST YOUR TIP UNDER COMMENTS!
So a while back I posted that our blog would be getting a new name. Well, it was supposed to. Something a little more exciting than Duffy Family News. I had the best intentions, but coming up with something new and witty got lost between loads of laundry, midnight feedings and numerous viewings of Thomas the Train. But I digress, I seriously think a great name for this blog would be Dazed and Confused. That is how I feel lately! Wouldn't trade it for the world of course, but I AM totally dazed and completely confused. Where the heck are the resources for parenting two under two. I was just getting the hang of James and now I am flustered at how I can manage this!!! I will because I am the Mom after all, but between us, I am pretty dang clueless. Anyone out there have any good books or websites for parenting two sweet boys 20 months apart? Advice needed! Also, in the midst of my mommy fatigue, I could use some reassurance that there are actual human beings out there who are following this blog. If you ever stop by to read what is going on with us, let me know by becoming a follower of our blog. I am also going to post some more links on here to blogs I enjoy. I am hooked on a few of them....
PS- to "follow" us, click "Follow" on the right and follow the steps! Pretty please!
I am amazed at how different Brendan is from James when he was a baby. I don't know why because I understand that they are two different people, but what totally different personalities they seem to have, at least so far! From the moment each was born, my boys have been unique. James is still the same from the moment he was born. He came out screaming bloody murder while Brendan made one short cry and then was essentially silent until we left the hospital. In the delivery room I kept looking around and asking if he was ok because he was so darn quiet compared to James!
My oldest is what parenting books call "spirited". That cracks me up. I think it is a nice way to say I have my hands full! James is my passionate child. He loves life and throws himself into it completely, feeling everything so intensely and expressing himself in the same way. He is a people person, totally hilarious, giving and forgiving. He rides the wild pendulum between life of the party and introvert so absorbed in busyness he forgets anyone else is there. I have never seen such a determined little thing. He works intently to solve problems and just does not give up. I am sure he will grow into a strong man one day that loves, works and plays with his whole mind, heart and body. I would not trade his feisty personality for anything because it just makes James, James.
My youngest, so far, seems to be my mellow, easy-going child, what the books would call an "angel" or maybe a "textbook" baby. He is content to sit with me and as long as he nurses regularly and gets in some good snuggles, he stays pretty happy and content. I know you are thinking, well yeah, duh, he is a baby! He should be pretty content with that. But with James, not so much. He was a flailing mess of arms and legs, not wanting to cuddle. Even as a newborn it was as if he couldn't wait to get down on his own and start being silly and having strong opinions about things.
One of Brendan's nicknames is the Mellow Munchkin due to his totally laid back attitude. He is so go with the flow. I have pretty much decided that God is good to you like that when it comes to second babies, especially babies that are so close in age to your first. I am not sure many moms would survive the toddler era of their first child is they ended up having a "spirited" baby on their hands too! If you are ones of those women, bless you! Now I have heard of a few exceptions to this idea of calmer/easier second babies, and for all I know Brendan could turn into absolute hell on wheels as a toddler, but as a baby Brendan is just pretty easy. I swear sometimes he looks at me like "Mom you are trying so hard to manage us two kids, I am going to cut you some slack". His gentle nature is my saving grace right now as I steel myself up against the roller coaster highs and lows of having a toddler in the house. Anyone who has had a toddler knows what I mean. Sometimes I swear I am hanging on to my sanity by a thread! But just when I think I am failing miserably at mothering two under two, James will smile at me with a big yogurt covered smile, or he will spontaneously kiss his brother, or Brendan will nestle up against my neck with his sweet baby smell, and I know that all is right in the world and that we will make it. Then I smile a little to myself, thinking that in time these two kids will be great companions. And how do I know this for sure? Well James is just like me and Brendan is just like Daniel. And so far, things are working out pretty great for the two of us. :-)
James at 20 months loves:
wa wa (water of any kind: in the tub, in lakes, in books, in cups, etc)
soy yogurt, blue berries, ketchup and kix cereal (not together, but hey whatever it takes to get him to eat)
choo choos (trains and their tracks and their horns blowing)
books (especially Goodnight Gorilla)
helping us around the house
dancing to music, even to my silly singing
flags (any flag, any where!!!!)
seeing his Nana and Granddaddy
animals (especially be-bras which are zebras)
cuddling up with his "baby" which is an Aubie stuffed animal
playing at the park, visiting the library and riding in the car
bees (James think school buses are bees!)
his little brother (he is the best big brother!)
So James has his very own mini-me. Looking at Brendan is often a flash back in time, some groovy kind of deja vu where I am in the moment I have already been in with a tiny little baby, but this is the second time with my second beautiful son. Such a strange feeling to hold your second child who looks so very much like your first child did. Well, so much like him except for the unexpected flash of blue eyes peeking out under sleepy lids. YES, I am aware that they could possibly change, in fact I am almost sure they certainly will change to brown. And no I have nothing against brown eyes (I am after all mother to the toddler with the most striking lady-killer brown eyes in the world), but how neat that Brendan's are blue. So, you may be wondering where did these blue eyes come from when Daniel is brown-eyed and my own slip somewhere between brown and green? Well, perhaps from his Granddaddy, my other favorite blue eyed guy.
We spent Labor Day weekend visiting Nana and Granddaddy in Houston. On Saturday we went up to the property to look around. My mom's family used to own a large portion of land in Austin County and it is so awesome to go up there. Mom remembers lots of cool things from her childhood and talks about them when we visit. She is able to look at the place where two barb wire fences meet and know who owned that property in the 1950s and who owns it now. There are stories of maiden aunts who were completely self-sufficient (they pulled the plows themselves when they had to), and of her asking for her uncle to buy her a certain piece of land when a sloping hill and blue tank. The land is split up these days among different families and rich cattle ranchers but my family still owns a decent piece of it. A far cry from when my German ancestors owned most of the county. What an idyllic place to visit these days. It is a place that still remembers how to slow down. My parents are going to build their retirement home up there on property that has been in our family at least one hundred years if not more and call it 7 Bar Ranch. Their land is the highest point in the county and you can see for miles and miles in all directions. All you can see are green pastures and cattle and rolling hills and trees and tanks people have put in to water their animals. A few houses and bed and breakfasts dot the landscape but that is about all you can see. I love it! It is SO quiet and to get there you have to go down a dirt road and across a one lane bridge. Captured a few shots that are particularly meaningful to me and hope you will enjoy them as well.
